The Xbox 360 Laws
360 Law (F): Barbie
Horse Adventures should only be played on an original Xbox. ONLY test
its backward compatibility on an Xbox 360 if you are in possession of a
child 7 years old or younger. The ‘Ken Exception’, a movement that if
Ken Horse Adventures were released it could be played, was struck down.
360 Law (F): Under no
circumstances will you put stickers on your console. Unless
those stickers are actually a skin that covers the entire console.
360 Law (F): Carrying an Xbox 360 backpack is not cool.
360 Law (F): Never
share your hard drive with a friend’s console for more than a day.
Tell him to get his own hard drive or download his own games. That is
disrespect to your own console and could lead to your own console
rejecting you.
360 Law (F): Gaming sessions should never last more than 24 hours if someone of the opposite gender is involved.
360 Law (F): Never be close enough to touch knees while gaming with a friend unless that friend is of the opposite gender.
360 Law (F): If you
plug it, you own it. Wired controllers, play and charge cables…are
only to be inserted into the USB by its owner. Never let anyone touch
your wires.
360 Law: No hands but those of the owner shall handle the 360 in any manner.
360 Law: Never abuse
the Guide button mid-game. Abuse includes pressing of the Guide button
by a guest without instruction from the host, repeated presses of the
Guide button whether accidental or not and other forms of excessive
Guide button usage.
360 Law: Your console
is not a coaster. Beverages and snacks must be a minimum of 3 feet
away at all times. A dirty console is a no-no. Keep it clean.
360 Law: Your 360
headset is not an open tryout for American Idol. Under no
circumstances should you sing into the headset while playing. Mute
yourself for the sake of your fellow gamer playing with or against you.
360 Law: Have a
Gamertag that everyone can pronounce. It is mandatory to upholding the
Laws and key to being recognized by the Council and your fellow gamer.
Trying to pronounce ‘xryiopyehzzeaiy’ sucks. The
Council frowns on unspeakable names. You shall provide proper
pronunciation of confusing Gamertag whenever prompted or be in
violation of said 360 Law.
360 Law: If any person
has excessively sweaty hands, they must identify themselves immediately
and be issued with a hand cover (gloves) or towel to dry hands. If
said person does not have a hand cover or towel, they must supply their
own 360 controller. Also known as the “Sweaty Hands Law”.
360 Law: The Vision Camera is not a dating tool.
360 Law: Halo 2 is not
next-gen. Halo 3 is. Sending Halo 2 invites after Halo 3 releases or
to known next-gen only players is beyond a violation.
360 Law: When the
headset is on, NO communication outside of to those involved in the
match is possible. Pass this on to anyone presiding in said household.
360 Law: The GamerchiX Rule. If you disrespect the chiX, you’ll lose respect. Obey the T.G.R.!
360 Law: You move it.
You lose it. Keep your 360 still! No horizontal to vertical adjustment
especially when there’s a game inside. Play it don’t sway it!
360 Law: Hulk no like
wasting money on batteries. Hulk like uninterrupted play. Hulk have
Play & Charge or Quick Charge kit. Hulk smash silly Xbox 360 owner
with batteries.
360 Law: Official
celebrations when unlocking Achievements or other milestones achieved
during gameplay include high fives, fist pumps in the air or shouting
‘Yeah!’. At no time do you celebrate with a hug and that includes the
mythical ‘man hug’.
360 Law: Forcing the
action is a rookie move and you’re not Salt ‘N Pepa. Respect your disc
tray. Don’t push it. A legitimate 360 owner uses the eject button, the
dashboard or the remote to operate the disc tray.
360 Law: Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s Xbox 360 or make regular use of it. Get your own!
360 Law: Being full of
hot air is only bad during certain times. Breathing into your headset
for all to hear is one of them. No psycho breathing unless gaming is
directly after strenous cardio workouts.
360 Law: If 3 red LED
lights appear to be flashing on the “Ring of Light” of your Xbox 360,
the console is not putting on a light show. You must call Xbox Customer
Support!
360 Law: Video
chatting is fun. Video chatting while performing any rendition of
Risky Business is not fun. Leave your clothes on when the Vision
Camera is on.
360 Law: It’s okay to
rumble. We all like to rumble. But thou shall not abuse the Xbox 360
controller’s rumble feature for any reason. It’s just not cool sending
a rumble while in video chat. Not even as a friendly reminder or nudge.
360 Law: We know what
you play. Your Gamercard says so. No faking the drive on an unplayed
game across Xbox Live pretending to have what you don’t. No play it,
no say it. Also known as the “Gamercard Law”.
360 Law: Xbox 360 Play & Talk 101. Your Xbox 360 can talk to you. Play it regularly so it doesn’t think you’re mistreating it.
360 Law: Never play on
a friend’s profile unless invited. Gamerscore points are important, so
adding unearned points is NOT allowed. Get your own achievements and
points on your own profile and vice versa!
360 Law: When you see your friend’s status as “Watching DVD/Movie”, do not
send them a message asking them what movie they are watching. It’s
like being in the theater and someone talks during the good part.
Don’t be that someone to your friend and their Xbox 360 movie.